MY LOST PASSION

" Hey , coming for a match ?" , he asked me.
  Yes , say Yes , My heart was pumping up when he asked me to join .
" No", I replied.
" Ok man , see you later" he rushed to ground then.

I wished if i could join them...... even though , I refused...... don't know why i did so . there was a time when I used to forget everything while i play CRICKET......
Yes  , Cricket... It was my Passion........ My Lost Passion

      Cricket was more than just a game to me....... I used to dream to about myself playing for a team , but not now. I get drown to deep memories , when i hold a cricket bat. I wish to take a run up when i grip my fingers on a cricket ball.All these stuffs make my soul flying high......That's how i felt for this game...since my childhood.


  I remember , I was 7 when I saw the first cricket match in Television. May be I had watched before , but i wasn't bothered about or never got attention to it before. The match was played between India & Zimbabwe at Sharja  , I guess.The only player I heard till then was Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.he hit his 22nd ton in ODI in that match and won by 10 wickets , chasing a target 196 . Another moment in the same match  I recollect was the 3 massive sixes hit by the other opener , Sourav Ganguly , to the roof top of stadium , still remembering the Classic commentary by Tony Grieg that "HE LOVES THAT ROOF, HE LOVES THAT ROOF!".

  This match made me started caring about cricket then on. I loved it , even though i wasn't aware of how to play it , I just watched and enjoyed those moments , especially the electrifying tight packed crowd in Indian home grounds. I was in 2nd grade in school by the time.

And when I got into 4th grade, at my age of 9 , I started joining my friends playing cricket in my school, my passion starts growing bigger from there on....

I saw no skills , but just hunger to win  among my friends. I started playing as a good for nothing player , can neither bat nor bowling and even poor in fielding. Seems like neither team wanted me. gradually I started learning more about cricket and some popular names of players.I came to heard about the Legendary of Kapil Dev, former Indian captain who brought World cup in 1983, for the first time. besides hostile, the excited and noisy Indian crowd , made me fascinated to play more cricket. And yes , it was the time when cricket was becoming a religion in India , which every Indian would worship.

  During 1999 World cup at England , watched some matches , made me a hardcore fan of it.Especially , when I watched the match between Ind and Kenya , when Sachin hit an unbeaten 140 with Dravid (100). It was the first match played by Sachin , after returning from his father's funeral. Well I started admiring him. his batting made me felt like its too easy .

 Even though , I couldnt find the game easier to play . I took almost two years to take my first run, while playing with my friends.they put me lower down the batting order , as a tail ender , since i always got dismissed for no run. Apart from that , I was also playing with my cousins, which is a reason what I've got now in this name. With an array of disappointing failures in batting, i slowly diverted my focus into bowling, later moulded me into an All-Rounder. 
  Playing with my cousins , actually made some talents in batting in me. I got more chance to play balls.Most of the bowlers I faced was speedsters, fast bowlers.In those days , we wont see much spinners.everyone likes to play aggressive style of cricket. Obviously , my batting style suited for fast bowleers, I lacked the technique facing spinners. Not much foot movement , got me into a back-foot player , always play in a defensive mind. Never able to play attacking shots.

After my 7th standard(2002-03) , I shifted to another school. well , that made more shaping my talents . Made me realize , cricket is not only about street smartness, its a game of brain and application too. I studied there only just more than an year , before I shifted to hometown Kochi. but that short span of time was enough to made me better. i exploited the chances to play on bigger grounds. i had some good moments to cherish , which i batted and recoverd my team from an early blow in the innings and a funny catch i took from near the boundary line which was going for a marginal six.
 I can't remember any day whether i skipped playing in those days. my skills and vision was expanding quicker , every match i watched , i used to pick one best shot from it and tried to practice it . I was a great fan of Sourav Ganguly, Indian skipper that time.Many memorable moments happened under his captaincy. I loved when he stepped out of crease against spinners . I tried to copy his many shots , but you got to be another Sourav if you wanna play those shots. Such a gifted player.....

My 3rd school (2004-2008), was the peak of my cricket life and the reasons to give up starts .(continue)

Being Younger..... is a Blessing.......

   Its for ma dear cousins, especially for those 2 who left to abroad........
 Before getting into the matter , i would like to introduce my family circle... I was more attached to my Mother's family , her's was initially a joint family. I still remember those dayz.
 
 Among the 12 cousins , I was the 9th one.... so defenitely i was belonging to the youngers bench.... By this i'm starting the story of little Allu kuttan......

  [Having a delay to proceed this post , bcoz I'm not in a mood share those Nostalgic memories here . The One who made me to post this one here is with me now......... So I'm not missing him anymore.......:)
   I would experience My Heaven.... If I'm with Him...... He is so excited to be here , so do I.... He & Me  were like 2 Bodies and 1 soul.....](continue)

TALE OF BROKEN DREAMZ..........

I want to dedicate this story to my first tution sir "SUDHEESH" ,of maths.....

    The story which I'm going to tell u may not be found in a book...... It comes from my Heart .
This story begins at the last phase of 1990's. Even though i born in Kochi , my studies till 9th were at Malappuram. I was very naughty when i was a little guy. Even though i was good in studies at that time, most of my teachers & friends disliked me. my first school was a police school MSP, i mean most of my teachers were from police department. So the Punishments given to us were predictable.
The incidents which I'm going to share was since  when i was 9 years old , i.e I'm in 4th. 4th std to 7th std , that was the worst face of my character!
I had many incidents both of sweet & bitter memories at this time. That time we , boys were not at all friendly with our girl classmates. I had many fights with my classmates that time. Now they all remember me as an old Fighter(GUNDA)!!! This was the time when my cricket craze starts..... I was a good for nothing player at that time!!! I told you , i was very naughty at that time . that time i had a usual opponent for my every fight!!! But now he is one of my best friend.....




      Back to myself , after seventh , i had changed my school. At 8th , I joined a convent school , Nazareth, which i never forget. That was a build up time for me . If you ask to my Nazareth teachers , you will get surprised ,sure. Most of my teachers were convent sisters. They helped me for my good character & also my good friends , I will never forget them . At the same time i had improved my cricket skills , playing with my friends(they all were very good players) had made me a nice bowling All-rounder.
Here too i had many sweet memories , but yet i was a shy guy , didn't have any guts to mingle with girls. but , in the teachers point of view , i was a decent boy , was never a headache to them , unlike the previous school.
But , this new school life last for hardly one & half years. My mother got transfer to our home town Kochi , when i was in 9th.






Now , in my home town Kochi , it was new era for ALLEN MATHEWS . Our old Gunda had now changed to an extra decent boy!!! Believe me , its true . No one can accept my change ,those who knows me from my childhood. My current classmates will laugh at me , if they heard i was a very mischief boy!!! they all know me as a very patient , cool guy.


My new school was SBOA . One of cousin bro had also studied here , so he knows about this atmosphere ,and made me aware of certain teachers...!!!


Everybody will say , the most springful & colorful period of our life will be college life. It may be true at thier point of view .
But According to me , this , my school life was the most beautiful period of my life...... especially my +2 & +1 classes . And i had many incidents at here , which i can't never 4get , my evergreen memories....
     My new school , SBOA , had many significance in my life. It was here , when i started dreaming about cricket & i improved my cricket skills. This was the time which i got Crush to a girl for the first time in my life!!! It was here , which cricket skills got accepted by everyone . It was just like heaven for me. 

     School was not much far away from  my home , hardly a 15 min walk. My 2-3 cousins were there, near to my home. Also some of my teachers  too!!! in my new school , i felt a different culture. At here , Girls & Boys were mingling very openly... Since i hadn't get used to this , i took some time to be like them. hence i got a bold image in my class , for the first two months. i felt very shy to talk with girls . Gradually i got changed ,  but i limit to an extent . 
     I felt like a free bird , till 10th. I had only one tuition teacher , even though i enjoyed very moment here. I got passed my 10th board exam with a distinction and I opted for comp-science for the higher secondary , in the same school. 
    Now responsibilities came into shoulder. I got 3 subjects for tuition later. At first year, i went for a physics tuition , a well known Professor. He is the master of the subject , Physics. I had even thought , whether he is any relative of Albert Einstein ! People of our age ,may feel like its an army school ,bcoz of strictness . He is very dedicated to his teaching , thats all. His notes were very famous among +1 & +2 students. We students had a lot of fun there.
    Since i got into computer science group , i got a target for future , ENGINEERING. Maths & Computer were my favourite subjects , only subjects not teachers.As we see in the campus movies , we got teachers of funny characters , each one will have something special in their behavior or the way of teaching. We used to have making fun of them , rather silently not known by them. 
   At this +1,+2 time itself i got some heartbreaking incidents too. i already mentioned , i was mad with my cricket. I got a very good chance to make my way to the school cricket team , but i couldn't. I joined for the cricket summer coaching camp. our coach was pleased with my cricket skills , apart from my fielding (i had dropped 2 catches in the warm up matches). But he had a good opinion in my cool Batting & with my runs controlled bowling . i wasn't like my other teammates , they were all dashing batsman. my batting was little different that i usually took some time to stay in crease 7 then trying to explode. Nothing different from my bowling too , i had bowled about 9 overs in 3 matches(all the matches were 20 over matches)conceding 43 runs and taking 3 wickets. in batting , i didn't get a fair chance , except our coach told me to open the innings in the 3rd match , seeing my efforts to stay in crease in the 2nd match.
   But i was dropped from the 15 squad itself. the team was made by a student in our commerce batch in the absence of our Coach . all i could see was he & his classmates in that team , and some of them don't know how to hold a bat...... this incident had brought me down , seems to be very gloomy for several days , because it was one of my biggest dream to represent , play for some team , and i couldn't fulfilled it due to some interests of fellows. However i recovered from that sadness , when our team was defeated by the team from Bavans school with a heavy margin of than the runs taken by our team!

     That was a chapter , which i never wanna look back.  As I mentioned earlier , i had crush with one of my classmates , while our +2 board exams are approaching. It wasn't as serious ,but  i just felt  something more to her. Only very few of my classmates know about this , and that even after we got pass out from the school. i kept this in my heart , for some days , may be months , i don't know when it started. But i didn't tell to anybody ,  i buried it in myself. i don't have that much courage to tell a girl that I'm in love with her!!! I gave up..... the first person to know about this is my mom , i told her bcoz i couldn't control my mind for a few days , it was disturbing me much. Anyway i overcame it. Another interesting thing was she had once told me "i love u" just casually!!! i know , she didn't mean it , it was just a situation i helped her in the practical exam , but that time i didn't mind her!!!

       It ain't that much worry 4 me as u all might think..... i had just felt something special 4 her , thats all. but it could get worse if she were with me for 2 more years. Towards the end of our board exams , i heard some bad romours  about her and i don't wanna take it out here.... itz all past , finished.
  


     After my +2 , got a memorable 3 month vacation with my cousins. i had done my engg. entrance exam and got qualified.

    But dear people ,i would say my college life sucks . Had became a good 4 nothing guy. felt very nostalgic , missing my old friends . but even there i failed . I realized then , nobody had got any such feelings for our old classmates , nobody was feeling that they missed their dear ones. That hurt me alot. 
   But , thanks to orkut & facebook . one day , i felt about searching my old malapprm batchmates in orkut . was curious to know about them. luckily one guy sent me his mob no: & i called him. that was a beginning.......

  From there i got many of old contacts , got in touch with them and had a Re-Union with them. just imagine , it was after 7 years i met all them !!!! another thing was , they still remember me as the old fighter(MALLAN)!!!! i used to draw well at my early schooldays ,and they all still remembering that!!!! 
   I still keep in touch with them , some of them are outside kerala now. now , my best 4or 5 friends are from among these people. interesting thing is those friends weren't my dear ones at school and one guy among them used to fight with me all the time !!!! Being frank to say , now best friend of mine   among them , is a girl .... and i feel very lucky to , these few  friends are my blessings .


      Back to college life , STUPID  i'am!!! Didn't learn from my past experience....... this time i got really down...... got a crush here too , in fact not a crush... it was a real affection . Due to  some reasons , i cann't explain about her , atleast for now.... she's still my classmate!!! Anyway i gave up her without even proposing her ( had some reasons ). she doesn't know about my feelings for her , even now.... I failed here , and decided to give up her..... i now realize romance , affair.... kind of stuffs are not meant for guys like me...... this one too i had shared with my mom and gave her a promise that won't repeat this mistake...... I was done and i don't want anymore. i started to hate every girl , got mad with them, don't know why..... deleted all girl contacts from my mob , except 2 girls , one my current classmate and other my best friend.....   
  

 It was my friend , gave some relief to me.... i shared my worries with her. she treated me as her own brother. Now some of my classmates knew that i've got such a friend. it was she who gradually removed my madness and short temperance  towards girls. I respect her for what she is , respect her discipline nature..... She might not feel that she had done all these to me , but it so valuable for me..... 

 And I've got some others too..... some strange friends too , that I haven't met yet!!! I love to make friends then.....

By this I'm winting up my story . . . . Comments are always Welcome.....Before putting an end, i would like to say......

 THESE FEW FRIENDS . . . . . . . I THINK THATS WHAT I'VE ONLY GAINED FROM MY WHOLE SCHOOL LIFE......ALL OTHER WENT IN VAIN , DREAMZ WERE BROKEN  . . . . . . . . .